The Things We Do
by Cheshire6845
Summary: Kathryn Janeway goes missing after the welcome home celebration. Has she been kidnapped? Has she run off with a new lover? Or is she a pawn in an alien's scheme for political power? Written for a specific request in VAMB's Spring Fling.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Paramount/CBS own everything. I just take them out to play with them.

Author's note: This is a little different from my usual fare and was written a few months ago. It's the response to a specific Spring Fling request that I'm not going to put on here at the beginning because it'll give away some of the plot. Thanks to my beta QS for all the little fixes and for letting me keep my capitalizations. I have another beta to thank as well but, that too will be at the end.

* * *

The Things We Do 

The Darling of the Delta Quadrant. Starfleet's Shining Star. Indiana's very own homegrown hero. The bitch that defeated the Borg. These were all titles that Kathryn Janeway had been called in the month since Voyager exploded into the Alpha Quadrant. She sniffed derisively at all the headlines and wondered what the headlines would be if the public knew the truth.

Kathryn Janeway wished she was still in the Delta Quadrant.

At least out there she'd still had something to look forward to. At least while she was on Voyager, she could believe the dream was still possible. She could pretend that protocol was the reason she slept alone at night, but those fantasies had been stripped away with the arrival of her future self. Admiral Janeway had made it possible for Voyager to return home, but Kathryn had never imagined what it would be like to do so without the possibility of Chakotay in her future. Now that future was a reality.

All the briefings had concluded and all charges had been dismissed. Long overdue promotions for the lower ranks had been handed out with deliberation still pending on the senior staff. With most of the paperwork straightened out, Starfleet intended to parade their newest heroes for the entire galaxy to see. The "official" welcome home party was in full swing by the time Kathryn Janeway arrived at the reception hall.

She viewed the celebration as a bittersweet conclusion. Her crew deserved nothing less than to be given all the accolades the world had to offer, but there were also going to be things here she didn't want to see. Things she had done her best to avoid seeing. Things like Chakotay and Seven. Together.

But as she was Starfleet's newest darling, she couldn't very well not show up. She made her way around the celebration, greeting all of her crew and their family members. She'd already seen most of the families in passing at their arrival on Earth, but tonight she was able to converse with them and give specific thanks and compliments to each. She held her wine glass in front of her as though it was a shield, and the armor of her captain's mask was securely in place. She was of course not wearing the mask that made her enemies cringe, but she had adorned the one she reserved for dealing with first contacts and politicians. She even employed her best avoidance dance and managed not to come face to face with Chakotay or Seven all evening.

After several hours had passed and most of the admiralty and higher echelon types had left, the dancing began in earnest. More Voyager couples than she could ever have imagined were gyrating with each other out on the floor. She smiled truly happy to see them all having a good time.

She was returning from the bar when the music slowed and the couples on the floor begin moving closer together, wrapping their arms around each other. Kathryn looked out across the floor and her breath caught in her throat. Chakotay and Seven were swaying together with their bodies meshed against each other. Chakotay reached up and tucked an errant strand of hair behind Seven's ear and she smiled at him. He gave her a soft smile in return before dipping his head slightly to kiss her.

Kathryn put her hand out to the nearest chair to steady herself, and contemplated downing the entire glass of wine she was holding and going back for the bottle. She glanced up again to see Seven's head resting on Chakotay's shoulder. Kathryn closed her eyes against the tears she felt welling up, and put the glass down before she broke it. She reached for her purse, and made her way out of the reception hall as quickly and discreetly as she could.

As soon as she was outside, she sucked in a gulp of crisp night air. She released a shuddering breath, feeling the pressure in her chest building. She couldn't stay here. She began walking aimlessly down the boardwalk that was adjacent to the hall, her only goal to put some distance between herself and the happy couple.

It really was too cool to just be out walking, but the cold wind off the ocean helped dry her tears before they could fall. Kathryn shook her head at her reaction and pulled her wrap closer around her. She turned off the boardwalk heading towards the nearest transport station so she could return to her temporary quarters.

Alone.

She hadn't intended it, but she found herself walking past Pip's. She paused. Pip's was a reputable bar whose usual clientele held at least a fourth pip or more. She had been there before and had enjoyed the laid back atmosphere that allowed her to enjoy a drink without feeling her presence was impeding someone else's good time. Coming to a decision, Kathryn pulled open the door and walked inside. An Irish whiskey might be just the thing to ward off the chill she was feeling.

The lady behind the bar served her drink and commented, "Nothing like a good sip to chase away what ails you."

Kathryn glanced at the girl, "It's a cold night. I think I got a bit of a chill out there."

"Uh huh," the girl agreed in a way that let Kathryn know she didn't really believe her.

Kathryn took a sip and savored the warmth as it hit her belly. She knew damned good and well it wasn't the night air that made her shiver, but that was exactly what she was going to continue to tell herself.

Kathryn was half way through her glass when the news on the view screen above the bar began streaming reports about Voyager's homecoming reception. Her eyes were riveted to the screen as it flashed through images of most of the senior staff, herself included. She felt her hand tighten around her glass when they showed video of Chakotay and Seven arriving at the hall arm in arm.

The view screen blinked off suddenly and she automatically looked around to see why. The man two seats down from her that had ordered a scotch smiled at her and gestured to the view screen. "I thought maybe you were tired of seeing yourself on the news."

She stared at him. He had dark hair and a deeply tanned face. She'd noticed him when he ordered his drink because his voice had been such a smooth baritone. He smiled nervously when she didn't answer. "I can turn it back on if you want."

"What?" Kathryn asked. The man even had dimples.

"The news. Would you like to watch it?"  
Kathryn shook herself and gave a small embarrassed laugh, "Sorry. No. No thank you. I see quite enough of myself when I look in the mirror."

He stood and walked over to her offering his hand. "My name is Charles Tate."

She took his hand. "Kath….well apparently you already know my name."

"I've seen a couple of your interviews." He smiled and released her hand. "May I sit down?"

Kathryn was suddenly wary. "Are you a reporter?"

"No."

"A writer? Publisher? Literary agent of some sort?"

He glanced at the chair he had indicated earlier. "Uh, no. None of those."

"Starfleet?" she asked, not relenting.

"No," he said again. "If you'd like to continue the interrogation I'd prefer to sit down."

Kathryn picked her purse up off the stool he had indicated. He sat down, but she stood up. "I was just leaving anyway."

He stood up again and lightly touched her arm. "Look, don't leave okay? I'll go back over there to my seat and you can finish your drink in peace. I apologize for bothering you."

Kathryn stared dumbfounded as he walked away. She sighed. "I'm the one who should be apologizing. It would appear that I've left my manners in the Delta quadrant."

He turned back to her. "It's okay. Please, enjoy your drink. You've earned it."

"Earned it?" she asked.

"I'm sure wherever it was that you've been," he said taking a step back towards her. "They didn't serve K51."

Kathryn laughed at that comment. "No, they didn't, but I'm hardly drinking anything quite that extravagant."

"Jameson, then?"

Kathryn nodded. "Would you care to join me for a round?"

"Well," he said, settling himself on the stool. "I'd hate for you to drink alone."

Alone. Kathryn's smile faltered and she hoped he hadn't noticed. "Yeah."

He appeared not to have noticed as he signaled the bartender to bring them a second round. When he turned back to her, she had hitched her mask back in place and gave him a wry grin turning the conversation back to safer ground. "So, you know Irish whiskey?"

* * *

The talk flowed smoothly, and after two hours they both realized their glasses were empty and had been for some time. Kathryn glanced around at the now empty bar. The girl behind the bar sat in a booth near the door reading a PADD.

"It's been awhile since I closed down a bar."

"I guess it is kind of late," he commented looking around.

Kathryn stood up gathering her few things. "I'm really glad you turned off the news for me."

He stood. "At the risk of sounding presumptuous, would you like to get a cup of coffee with me, Kathryn?"

Her eyes lit up at the mention of it. "I wouldn't really think that was presumptuous."

He stood and opened the door of the bar for her. "In that case, I know the best place."

They walked as close together as they could without touching as they made their way down the sidewalk. He guided them for a few blocks before turning onto the main avenue. Kathryn glanced at him wondering where they were going. She thought she knew all of the places that served coffee. She almost ran into him when he stopped abruptly in front of her.

"Here we are." He gestured to the building they were standing in front of.

Kathryn looked up and arched her eyebrow. "This is a hotel."

"Yes, it's where I'm staying, but I promise it does have a wonderful cup of coffee." He held the door open for her.

She didn't go in. "Where exactly _is_ this cup of coffee?"

He let the door close. "There's a twenty-four hour café that serves an excellent cup of coffee and a slice of pie to go with it in the lobby."

Kathryn was surprised to feel a flutter of disappointment.

Charles stepped closer to her and grasped her hand. "Or, the replicator in my room has been known to serve up a decent brew."

She looked up into his face and felt an entirely different flutter. In a moment of indecision she licked her lips.

Charles' smile widened and he bent his head towards hers, moving slowly enough that she could move away if she wanted. She didn't, and his lips gently brushed against hers as he tilted her chin up with his fingertips. Kathryn closed her eyes and felt the slight pressure he applied and his moist breath against her lips. He drew back after only a moment, and she opened her eyes to find him eyeing her with a hunger she hadn't seen directed at her in too long a time.

She cleared her throat. "Hopefully, your replicator works better than mine."

* * *

Kathryn lay face down on the bed. She realized she was grinning like a Cheshire cat, and she knew she definitely had the afterglow right now. Or as Phoebe would call it, the "just been fucked" look. She wondered briefly what her sister would think about her recent behavior. What would anyone that knew her think? She wasn't the type to just jump into bed with a guy she just met, but essentially that was exactly what she had done. Kathryn smiled to herself as she realized Phoebe would probably congratulate her.

Charles had proven himself to be a very generous lover, and Kathryn had been long overdue. Seven years overdue. She stretched out on the bed and felt her muscles twinge. The first round had been rather frantic, and had not involved them making it past the couch in the front room. She was going to be sore tomorrow, but damn it had sure felt good at the time.

The side of the bed dipped as Charles sat down on the edge, and she turned her head so she could see him. He leaned down and kissed her bare shoulder, moving up to nuzzle her neck. Kathryn sighed happily into the pillows. She could feel his weight shift as he kneeled over her on the bed, and his hands began roaming over her shoulders.

She groaned into the pillows as he began to knead her muscles. "The foreplay really isn't necessary anymore."

He laughed lightly and worked his hands down her back, "Are you always this tense?"

"Unh." She couldn't keep her eyes open as his hands were causing blissful sensations to sweep over her. "The past couple of years have been stressful."

He leaned down reaching for the drawer of the nightstand. "I've got just the thing to get rid of those knots."

Kathryn smirked as she expected to feel massage oil on her back, but instead she felt the cold metal of a hypospray on her neck an instant before she heard the telltale hiss of an injection. She immediately tried to turn over. "What the hell?"

Charles anticipated her reaction and shifted his weight forward, pinning her torso down. She had no leverage, and she was quickly losing the fight against the drug coursing through her system. Her movements began to weaken, and she turned her head to the side eyeing him as best she could. Her voice was barely a whisper. "You son of a bitch. Why?"

He kissed her cheek and spoke quietly, "I'm sorry, Kathryn."

She lost the battle, and Charles watched as her eyes closed. He continued to hold her down until he was sure she was unconscious. He felt a moment of remorse when he released her arms and stood up from the bed. He'd have to use a dermal regenerator on her wrists where he'd held her or they'd bruise. Her feet and legs were tangled in the sheet because of her struggles and he quickly freed them from the twisted linen. He couldn't help but gaze down at her. She was a truly beautiful and intriguing woman, but he had a job to do.

* * *

Cont to Part 2


	2. Chapter 2

Please see disclaimer and author's notes on the first chapter.

* * *

Kathryn felt like she had a lead blanket draped across her. Her entire body felt heavy and weighed down. After several minutes, she finally managed to get her eyes open, and for once she was disappointed that she didn't find herself in sickbay. Then she remembered: she wasn't on Voyager anymore. But she was on a ship. She could feel the thrum of the engines, and she'd been a spacer long enough to know when a ship was at warp. She just wished she could remember how she came to be here, and where the clothes she was wearing had come from. She couldn't remember having ever replicated grey sweats.

She smelled coffee. With a tremendous effort, Kathryn managed to roll her head to the side. There was a man sitting in a chair close to where she was lying, holding a cup of coffee between his hands. He extended the steaming mug towards her. "I owe you a cup of coffee."

Kathryn's eyes narrowed at this greeting, and then her memory came rushing back. The bar. Irish whiskey. Charles Tate. The hotel. Oh God, the hotel. She'd had sex with him and then he'd…he'd drugged her. She clenched her jaw, and with a rush of adrenalin pushed herself up on her elbows. The room began to spin and she sucked in a breath through gritted teeth.

"Take it easy," he said, standing up and moving towards her.

"Don't touch me," Kathryn gritted out, halting his movement. She swallowed and gulped another breath down. She managed to sit all the way up and then swung her legs off the small rack. She leaned her back against the bulkhead, appreciating the coolness of the metal. After two more slow breaths, she opened her eyes and barely held back a snarl as she eyed the man she had so recently slept with. God, she was a fool.

He offered the coffee mug again, and she eyed it with disdain. He shrugged and set it down on the low table near her before sitting back on his chair again. "You should try it. It would probably help with your headache."

Kathryn pulled her captain's mask into place as best she could. "Why?"

"The sedative I gave you knocked you out for almost twenty hours, and I know from experience it usually leaves a person feeling hung-over."

Kathryn glared at him. "I wasn't talking about the headache. Why have you done this?"

"Oh, that. I work on contract. I'm getting paid to bring you to my employers," he said. "I've been assured that no harm will come to you. They just want to use you for leverage against the Federation."

Kathryn snorted. "The Federation does not negotiate for hostages."

"It's my understanding you're going to be more like an honored guest. Some kind of a ritual thing for their culture. They take a prize from the faction that wants to ally with them. If the faction is strong enough to retrieve their prize, it's a sound alliance." He leaned back. "And you are definitely the best prize the Federation has right now."

Prize. It had all been a ruse, nothing more. Kathryn buried the bitter surge that threatened to rise within her. "I see. So you're nothing more than a delivery boy."

She was happy to see him grimace slightly at that. She studied him now. The dark hair was now blonde. The deeply tanned skin was a lighter shade of olive. The eyes were a bright green instead of the dark brown she had looked into after that first kiss. He had obviously done his homework and had adjusted his appearance to garner her trust. She wondered if the lust she had seen had been an act as well. Kathryn cursed herself for how easily she had been played. The name Charles Tate was just a small step away from Chuck Tate, which sounded almost like…

God, was she really so obvious? "What's your name?"

He opened his mouth. "Char…"

She cut him off, "Don't."

He stopped. "What do you want it to be?"

She glared at him for his flippant response. "I want you to tell me one true thing."

"I wasn't lying when I said I was sorry." He stood and headed towards the door of the small cabin, wanting to avoid any further emotional entanglements. "We've still got several hours before we arrive at our rendezvous point. There's a small refresher in the corner you can use."

"If I'd left the bar, what would you have done?" she asked before he could leave.

"I'd have overpowered you in the alley, or followed you to your home and taken you from there." He stepped through the door. "While we were in that bar, I found out I liked you, Kathryn Janeway. You're an amazing woman. I'm sorry I had the contract before I met you, but I'm not sorry about anything that happened between us."

He activated the door, and it slid shut with the locking mechanism noisily snapping in place. Kathryn sat forward, putting her head in her hands and closed her eyes. She knew she shouldn't be as upset about this as she was. It wasn't as though she had been looking for a relationship. Hell, she hadn't even been looking for a one night stand. What did it matter that he had had ulterior motives? The sex had still been good. She sighed and sat up straight, the muscles in her lower back protesting the sudden movement. Okay, the sex had been really good.

She stood slowly and stretched. She really needed to get her head on straight. She needed to find a way out of here; she could worry about her one night stand later. Kathryn began to survey the small cabin looking for any obvious means of escape. Her gaze came to a rest on the coffee mug. She leaned over and picked up the warm mug, inhaling its aroma before taking a sip. She huffed. Hell, even the coffee was good.

* * *

Kathryn had been asleep on the small rack when she suddenly started, wide awake. She tried to assess what had changed to make her wake up. Had she heard a noise? No, it was quiet. She realized that was exactly what had awoken her. They had dropped out of warp and the thrum of the engines had quieted. She sat up to wait for Tate's return.

In an effort to put some emotional distance between herself and him she had decided to only refer to him by the last name of his alias. After searching every inch of the cabin and finding no way out, she had quickly used the sonic shower before lying down again. At the time, she had still felt sluggish and drowsy from the drug in her system, but now she felt alert and normal.

She heard the lock on the door rattle open and Tate entered the cabin, closing the door behind him. She noticed he carried a phaser this time, and she raised an eyebrow at him.

"You felt the need to come armed?"

He smiled slightly. "The stories of your many escapes from enemies are fast becoming legend. I don't want to add my name to the list."

"Too late."

"Maybe for your list of enemies," he said, taking a few more steps towards her. "But I'd like to keep my name off the list of places and people you've escaped from."

She eyed the set of manacles he carried in his free hand. "There is no 'maybe' about it, especially if you intend to try putting those on me."

He sighed, but his hand holding the phaser never wavered. "Kathryn, I don't want to hurt you, but since I can't say the same about your intentions towards me I must insist you wear these."

She didn't move an inch.

He raised the phaser to chest height. "I _will_ stun you if I have to."

He held out the manacles again and stepped closer to her. She narrowed her glare and held out one arm. The corner of his mouth twitched upward, but he was smart enough not to smile. He slipped the wrist restraint over her hand and pushed a button that contracted it tightly. He gestured for her to do the same with the other hand. She moved it up and slid it through until her wrists were crossed, and the second manacle tightened down.

He nodded slightly and stepped back through the door. Only once he was safely on the other side did he motion for her to join him. She rolled her eyes at him as she stepped past him, aggravated that he really did seem to know what he was doing. He wasn't about to give her any opportunity to escape.

They proceeded towards the back of the small ship where the ramp had been lowered. Exiting, Kathryn could see that they seemed to be in the shuttle bay of a much larger ship. There were a group of aliens standing in a half circle at the foot of the ramp, waiting for them.

Having never encountered this species, Kathryn eyed the aliens standing in front of her. They had long, flowing white hair with purplish skin. They all stood more than three meters tall and wore outfits of dark blue. Three of the aliens stood in the middle of the semi-circle and had swatches of a heavy golden fabric draped from their shoulders. She noticed the rest of the party all wore black material over the blue. Kathryn surmised that the ones with black must be soldiers or body guards as they were all armed.

The alien in the center, who also happened to be the shortest of the three, bowed deeply and spoke with a deep sonorous voice. "Welcome, Captain Kathryn Janeway, to the Perubian flagship Nighthorse. It is an honor to meet you in person."

"The honor is all yours," Kathryn quipped.

The Perubian looked confused for a moment before giving what Kathryn assumed to be the equivalent of a shrug. He continued, "I am Ambassador Lelac."

Kathryn nodded, but before she could say anything the ambassador addressed Tate, "Why is this woman in restraints?"

"Personal safety."

"Hers?"

"Mine," Tate clarified.

The ambassador glanced at Kathryn and she gave a small innocent shrug of her shoulders. "Release her immediately. We are concerned only with her safety, not yours."

The ambassador spoke firmly, and Kathryn saw half of the guards turn their attention in Tate's direction. Kathryn smiled sweetly and extended her hands towards Tate. He pushed a few buttons on the manacles and slid them off. She instinctively rubbed her wrists.

The ambassador addressed her. "I wish to inquire if you are undamaged?"

Kathryn didn't answer right away, wondering exactly what he meant. Tate spoke up when she didn't.

"I assure you, Ambassador, the Captain is in excellent condition. I haven't touched her."

"I wouldn't say that exactly," Kathryn said, turning towards him. "As I recall, there was quite a bit of touching."

Tate grimaced and Kathryn saw the aliens that were focused on him tense and shift their weapons in his direction. He hadn't been kidding about these aliens regarding her as an honored guest.

The ambassador spoke again, and this time his voice carried a hint of menace, "Captain Janeway, if this man has harmed you in any way, we will address the matter immediately."

Tate swallowed and looked nervous. "Kathryn, if you don't explain that I didn't hurt you, they will kill me."

"Trust is such a fragile thing isn't it?" She said, staring him down. He held her eyes only for a moment before looking away. She gloated in his misery momentarily before relenting and turning towards the ambassador. "I have not been harmed in any way, Ambassador."

The ambassador made a hand gesture, and the guards returned to their original positions. Then he addressed Tate, "Mr. Logan, your payment will be in your account in one hour. Your business here is finished. Captain Janeway, if you will accompany me."

Tate made a low bow and turned to leave. Kathryn reached out and touched his arm. "Tate, I need you to let my mother or my sister know that this is just a game and that I'm alright."

He balked. "I can't…"

"I just saved your life, _Logan_." Kathryn's voice hardened as she emphasized his name. "It's the least you can do, all things considered."

He gave her a curt nod. "I'll get word to them."

"Thank you," Kathryn said and headed towards where the ambassador was waiting for her. One problem down. A hundred more to go.

* * *

The doors to extravagantly decorated quarters opened before Kathryn, and the ambassador ushered her inside. "These quarters will be yours until we reach our planet. You are free to come and go as you please. We will provide an escort for you outside of the quarters and a lady to help you with anything you need inside of your area."

"Oh, that really won't be necessary," Kathryn protested, but Lelac waved her off. "Ambassador, would you please explain to me what exactly is going on?"

Lelac served her a drink that smelled suspiciously like coffee, and gestured for her to have a seat. "You are an integral part of a tradition that goes back centuries for our people. Legend has it that our first tribes were constantly fighting amongst each other until one day the tribal leader's son kidnapped the daughter of their rival. The two tribes went to war and after several days of fighting a third tribe took advantage of the situation and attacked the two now weakened tribes. Only by fighting together against their common enemy were they able to defend themselves. After the battle, they decided that as the two strongest tribes they would work together instead of against each other from that point on."

"Since those early days, we have continued this tradition. When we have the prospect of a new ally we enact the old tradition, albeit on a more civilized level than our ancestors."

"I see." Kathryn pinched the bridge of her nose. "Does the Federation know that this is the way your people do things?"

He seemed surprised by her question, "No, of course not. How could we gauge their protectiveness if they were aware that this was all just pomp and circumstance? The Federation is a noble organization that my planet would be more than willing to join, but traditions must be followed."

She leaned forward. "We have a 'tradition' that does not allow us to negotiate for hostages. Any demands you make for my release will not be met. It's simply not how we operate."

He smiled. "In a few days they will know we have you, and that it is expected for them to come and rescue you."

"In a few days? What happens in a few days?"

He waved his hand as if it were unimportant. "A message buoy has been left near your planet, and will send images of you as well as our prerecorded message at the coordinated time of our arrival home."

Kathryn cut off his explanation once again. "Wait. What images of me? We were well away from Earth by the time we rendezvoused with you."

"Mr. Logan recorded an image to prove that no harm had come to you. It is a part of the message that will be sent."

"Mr. Logan never took an image of me while I was conscious. It will prove nothing." Kathryn was livid. She hoped like hell her mother wouldn't see the image, and she also hoped Tate had taken it after he had dressed her. She took another breath and tried to calm down. "How long will I have been gone by the time they receive this message?"

"Seven days."

"You're going to make them wait an entire week before you let them know where I am and that I'm all right?" She asked incredulous.

"It's tradition," the ambassador said a little sheepishly.

"It's deranged," Kathryn mumbled to herself and reached a hand up to rub her temples. The headache that was starting felt as bad as one centered on temporal mechanics. "After these seven days, what happens next?"

"Negotiations can begin once one of your ships arrives. If your Federation had prevented us from taking you, we would have held negotiations on your planet. Since they were unable to do so they must come to us, but we will still expect them to rescue you, of course," he explained. "It's all part of the…"

"Tradition," Kathryn finished for him. "Yes, I'm beginning to understand, but Ambassador, you said it's going to take us a week to get to your planet. That means it's going to take at least that long for the Federation to dispatch anyone, and only after they arrive can you begin negotiations. This could easily take over a month."

Ambassador Lelac nodded happily.

Kathryn wanted to strangle him. "What exactly am _I_ expected to do during all of this?"

"Relax, my dear Captain. Enjoy yourself. You are our honored guest." He got to his feet and headed towards the cabin door. "It has been a very exciting day. I'm sure you'd like to get some rest."

"Wait, Ambassador, please. I do have one request. Allow me to record a message and send it to my mother. She has no idea this is a tradition, and I'd really rather not worry her anymore than I already have."

Lelac's shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry, Captain. I cannot allow this. At least, not at this time. Perhaps when one of your ships arrives."

The door closed behind him, and Kathryn slumped against the wall. If only she could talk to Starfleet, she could get this all straightened out in a manner of minutes. At the rate this was going, she'd be lucky to see Earth again this year.

* * *

Cont to part 3


	3. Chapter 3

Please see disclaimer and author's notes on the first chapter.

* * *

Chakotay sighed and set down the book he had been reading. His door chime was sounding a continuous and shrill whine. He'd tried to ignore it at first in hopes that whoever was there would go away, but now it seemed the person was simply leaning against the chime. He was five steps away from the door when the pounding began. He smiled to himself. That meant it could only be one person.

He activated the door and it slid open to reveal a slightly perspiring B'Elanna Torres. "Good morning."

"The hell it is." She stormed into the room. "Why didn't you answer the damn door?"

"I didn't feel like it," he said simply. "So what brings you to my doorstep?"

"Have you not turned on the news at all this morning?" She asked, crossing to activate the news feed. "The Captain is missing."

Chakotay lost all of his good humor. "What do you mean 'missing'?"

"Owen commed us this morning just before the news released the story. She never made it home after the reception." B'Elanna gestured to the viewscreen which was showing an image of Kathryn Janeway stepping off of Voyager.

"The reception? That was two days ago." Chakotay said incredulous. The viewscreen was scrolling images of Kathryn while an announcer droned on that her current whereabouts were unknown. "Are you telling me that, Admiral Paris has known she was missing for two days and he's just now telling us?"

"Apparently there was nothing to suggest that she was in danger of any kind. She just didn't come home. Phoebe contacted him this morning when Kathryn didn't show up for a brunch date."

Chakotay looked away from the viewscreen. "How does Admiral Paris know she didn't go home after the reception?"

"He wasn't exactly clear on that, but I got the impression he had her quarters under surveillance."

"Surveillance! Why would he have someone watching Kathryn's quarters if he hadn't suspected some sort of danger?"

B'Elanna shrugged. "She's a celebrity now, Chakotay. Maybe it was just standard procedure."

"I doubt it. What else did Paris say?"

B'Elanna crossed her arms over her chest. "Not much. Just that no one has seen or heard from her. We were hoping maybe you had."

"No." He shook his head. "I haven't talked to her in over a week. I didn't even talk to her at the reception. I got the distinct impression she was avoiding me."

B'Elanna snorted.

Chakotay looked up. "What?"

"Nothing," B'Elanna said and crossed towards the kitchen. She stopped and turned back towards Chakotay. "No, there is something. Of course, she's avoiding you. You and your blonde Borg that may as well have been her daughter."

"What are you talking about? She told me she was happy for us," he said shaking his head. "She wished us both the best."

"Of course she said that, you jerk! She loves both of you, and she'd want you to be happy even if it meant her own heart was breaking." B'Elanna stabbed her finger into his chest. "Are you so blind in lust with Seven that you refuse to see that the Captain still loves you?"

"I am not blind in lust," he said indignantly.

"P'taq! It is lust, and nothing more. You cannot tell me that you love Seven. She's half your age and you have absolutely nothing in common. She's a pretty face that showed an interest in you, and you turned your back on the person you've loved for seven years just to chase a skirt."

"That's enough, Torres," Chakotay said cutting her off. "And, I never said I was in love with Seven."

"Then what is it? What's so damn special about her that you gave up on the Captain after seven years?"

Chakotay sighed and sat down on the couch. "That's it exactly. It's been seven years, B'Elanna. She hadn't once given me any reason to hold out hope that we could ever be together. It was just bad timing that I finally try a relationship, and we end up in the Alpha Quadrant."

"Bad timing? Bad timing?" B'Elanna growled. "I'll tell you what's bad timing, Chakotay. You making out with your girlfriend on the dance floor right in front of the Captain, and now she's missing."

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked angrily, getting to his feet.

"I saw the Captain that night, Chakotay. I saw her as she almost fell over at the sight of you and Seven kissing. You could have just shot her with a phaser; it would've been more humane." B'Elanna deflated and sat down on the couch. "But that's not the worst part. No, the worst part is that I watched her leave and I didn't go after her. I thought she'd want a few moments alone, and by the time I went outside she was gone. And now she's missing."

Silence settled between the two of them as they were both lost in their own thoughts. The door chime sounded and Chakotay looked up. B'Elanna gave him a small feral grin, "The cavalry's here."

* * *

Kathryn had been missing for six days. The former senior staff of Voyager was working out of Chakotay's apartment. The majority of the Voyager's crew, former or otherwise, was out canvassing the city or standing by to take action if and when the need arose. Since they were all on leave for the next six months, Starfleet had not included them in the official investigation of Kathryn's disappearance, but that hadn't stopped them. Unfortunately, their separate investigation had found nothing so far, and with the inside information they were receiving from Admiral Paris they knew their results equaled Starfleet's. Kathryn Janeway had simply vanished.

Chakotay scrubbed his hand over his face and stared out over the city. He felt like he hadn't slept in a month, but in reality it had only been since he had heard the news. His heart lurched slightly as the thought crossed his mind that he could use a cup of coffee. It didn't take anything more than that to make him think of her. As if he'd ever stopped thinking of her. He sighed and turned towards the kitchen.

He had to squeeze past Seven and Harry. They were busy hacking into the city's computer system to analyze all the surveillance footage of the city around the time that Kathryn left the reception hall. He walked past the couch, where Tom Paris was sleeping after having stayed out all night looking up old contacts. The Doctor was using the comm. to check in with local hospitals searching for any new patients matching Kathryn's description. The only person not present in the apartment was Tuvok. He was at home on Vulcan, but Chakotay was sure the security officer was exhausting his own resources as well.

Chakotay nodded at B'Elanna who was standing in a corner of the kitchen nursing Miral. He poured himself a cup of coffee and leaned against the counter.

"How are you holding up, old man?"

"I'll make it."

"Do you think…"

"She's alive," he said, cutting her off.

"I know," she agreed. "That's not what I was going to say."

"What then?"

"Do you think maybe she just took off? Secluded herself to get away from everything?" B'Elanna looked uncomfortable. "We've seen her do it before."

"I considered that," he admitted, staring into his mug. "But I don't think so. Even if she wanted to, I don't think she'd disappear like this without telling her family at least."

B'Elanna nodded. The chime for the door sounded and she looked at him questioningly. He shrugged and called for entrance. Phoebe Janeway walked in, causing everyone to stop what they were doing and stare at her.

"Phoebe." Chakotay stepped forward. "Is everything alright? Has something new happened?"

"Uhm, I'm not sure," she said entering the apartment further. She saw B'Elanna and smiled a greeting at her. The two women had talked several times since Kathryn's disappearance and were fast becoming friends. "I didn't know there were so many of you when you said you were 'working on it'."

B'Elanna laughed lightly and ushered Phoebe into the living room. "It's okay, Phoebe; this is what we do. Your sister gets into trouble; we find a way to get her out of it."

Tom sat up at B'Elanna's nudging and made room on the couch for Phoebe to sit down. B'Elanna asked, "So, what brings you here, Phoebe?"

Phoebe opened her purse and pulled out a video chip. "This was waiting for me when I checked my messages at the studio this morning."

Chakotay took the chip and handed it to Harry to put on the view screen. They all watched as the image of an old man appeared. He cleared his throat and began speaking. "A friend of a friend asked me to contact you. Kathryn wanted me to let you know that she is fine. She is in no danger despite what you may hear otherwise."

The transmission ended abruptly. Everyone exchanged looks with each other, but for a long minute the room remained totally silent.

Phoebe finally spoke up. "Yeah, that's what I thought too."

* * *

It had been eleven days since the reception, and Chakotay was finally getting to see the message Starfleet command had received. Admiral Paris had made them aware of it hours after it had been viewed by command, but it had taken him a few days to smuggle a copy out to them. The senior staff all collectively held their breath as the view screen began the playback.

An alien with white hair and purplish skin appeared on the screen and began speaking. "Greetings Federation, I am Viceroy Chedat of the planet Perub. We have opened negotiations to forge an alliance with you. To ensure that this alliance is a sound proposition, we have taken something most precious of yours."

The image changed to one showing Kathryn Janeway. She was lying on her side in what appeared to be a small room. She was wearing nondescript grey clothing and her eyes were closed. Her head was resting on her arm, and her legs were slightly bent at the knee. As they watched, she rolled onto her back and the Viceroy's voice sounded again.

"She is unharmed." The Viceroy's face filled the screen. "If you wish to continue the process for an alliance, you must prove your worth. You must reclaim what is yours. We look forward to your arrival at our home."

The Viceroy bowed low, and the image faded.

"Well." The Doctor cleared his throat, breaking the silence of the room. "She appears to be uninjured."

"Harry, analyze it. I want to know everything there is to know about that video." Chakotay crossed to the panel and downloaded a copy for himself onto a PADD. He tightened his fists, resisting the urge to strike the bulkhead and turned back to the still silent group of people watching him. "They want someone to come and 'claim' her. They have no idea what kind of hell I'll bring down on them."

* * *

Seven observed Chakotay as he stood on the balcony. He stared at the PADD he held in his hand. She could see that it was paused on the image of the Captain. "Have you found any irregularities in her image?"

He started at Seven's voice and thumbed off the PADD.

She raised an eyebrow. "I did not mean to startle you."

"It's okay, Seven," he said, turning to her. "Did you need something?"

"I wished to inform you of our initial findings concerning the recording," she stated. "Based on the background noise, it is apparent that the Captain was on a ship at the time of the recording. With further analysis, we may be able to narrow down the specific type of ship."

Chakotay nodded. "What else?"

"Based on her facial expressions, the Doctor believes that she is not experiencing any discomfort. He believes she may be merely sleeping or possibly drugged." Seven reported.

"Did he notice any defensive injuries?" Chakotay asked without looking up.

"No, he did not." Seven cocked her head to one side. "You do not believe the Viceroy's assurance that she is unharmed?"

"No, Seven, I don't believe him. They took images of her while she was unconscious. That's practically a violation of her." Chakotay spat out the words. "If they are willing to do that, there's no telling what else they might do."

"Would you prefer they had not sent a current image of her?" Seven asked.

Chakotay paused, taken aback by her question. "That's not what I meant."

"The images were taken at a time when the Captain was moving regardless of her level of awareness. This showed that she was indeed alive, and the images help validate the Viceroy's claim that she is unharmed."

"Maybe," he conceded. "Did you find out anything else about the recording?"

"Lieutenant Torres," Seven sniffed as though she didn't really want to tell him, "Insists that the earrings the Captain is wearing in the image are the same ones she had on the night of the reception. This observation coupled with Admiral Paris' reports that the Captain did not return to her quarters the night of the reception lends credence to the theory that she was taken relatively soon after her departure from the hall."

Chakotay felt his anger rising again. "And yet she's wearing different clothes."

"Yes, it is obvious that she is no longer wearing her dress from earlier in the evening."

"Don't you get it, Seven? If she didn't return to her quarters, where did the clothes come from? Why would she have changed? I think she was forced to change clothes. Or someone did it for her." He repressed a shudder at the implications of that thought.

"Perhaps we can locate the dress," Seven suggested.

"I doubt it. I'm sure whoever did this waited until they were safely away from the planet."

"Perhaps, but if we were to find the dress we might have another location to search for clues." Seven punched a button on the PADD she was holding. "Chakotay, can you describe the Captain's dress?"

Chakotay closed his eyes, imagining Kathryn's entrance to the reception hall. "It was dark blue with a low dip in the back. Floor length, but it had a split that went halfway up her thigh. She had a wrap of some sort that was a lighter shade of blue."

Seven raised her eyebrow. "Do you know what material the dress was?"

He shrugged. "Some sort of satin maybe. It shimmered when she walked."

"I see." Seven input the data on the PADD before speaking again. "Chakotay, can you describe what I was wearing that evening?"

Chakotay blinked, and for a moment he drew a blank before remembering, "You had on a red dress, Seven."

Seven waited a moment before speaking. "Continue, please."

Chakotay searched his memory and came up with nothing else. "I don't know. What does that have to do with getting Kathryn back?"

"Nothing, Commander," Seven said and walked back inside the apartment.

* * *

"The Enterprise arrived at Perub two days ago and has begun negotiations," Admiral Paris said, addressing the group gathered in Chakotay's apartment.

It had been three weeks since Kathryn disappeared, and the senior staff had changed plans from investigating to planning a rescue of the Captain. Phoebe had become a regular fixture at the apartment, and even Gretchen had been stopping by at regular intervals. Tonight though, Gretchen had arrived with Owen, who had alerted the group that he had new information to share with them.

"We still have a lot of the obligatory diplomatic procedures to go through before we take any kind of action, but we are confident at this point that Captain Janeway is in no real danger," Admiral Paris stated, surprising her officers.

"How can you say that?" Chakotay asked.

Gretchen patted his knee. "Let Owen finish."

"Prior to this incident, we were aware that the Perubians have some eccentricities that differ from our own. It would seem their culture demands a kidnapping and rescue before they can ally themselves with anyone."

Tom stood away from the doorframe he had been leaning against. "You knew they were going to come after her. That's why you had her quarters under surveillance."

There was a murmur building and Admiral Paris tried to head it off, "We didn't know it would be Captain Janeway."

"But you thought it might be," B'Elanna interrupted.

"We considered it a possibility. We increased security on several public figures including the President of the Federation and yes, Kathryn as well."

"Your security didn't do a very good job," the Doctor huffed.

"As they haven't mentioned it, we didn't know if the Perubians would actually follow through with their tradition. As far as they know, we didn't even know about it until we received this message. I knew Kathryn would never have appreciated someone following her, and she certainly wouldn't have agreed to it, so I compromised and had surveillance on just her quarters. The security personnel were instructed to watch for any suspicious characters hanging around or trying to break in. Intelligence indicated the Perubians would want to take her from her home, if they were going to go through with this."

"You mean, you never told her this was a possibility?" Chakotay asked quietly.

"Well, no." Admiral Paris looked sheepish at this acknowledgement. "Anyway, the point is that now we know they have enacted their tradition and that Captain Janeway has become an integral part of it. Captain Picard has opened diplomatic channels with the Viceroy, and I received this video today as an offering of trust."

Owen keyed up the viewscreen and Kathryn appeared. She was sitting at a desk with her hands clasped loosely in front of her. Chakotay leaned forward studying her face. She smiled, and he felt an immediate warmth spread through his chest. It was her signature half smile.

"Mom. Phoebe. I'm sorry I can't tell you this in person, but I wanted you to know I'm safe. My 'captors' have been very hospitable, and they assure me they will continue to be so until my 'rescue'." Kathryn rolled her eyes at the word "rescue" before continuing, "I had no idea this was going to happen, or I would've let you know ahead of time. Just think of it as me enjoying an enforced vacation."

Kathryn looked up at someone off-screen and nodded, holding up one finger. "Mom, I need you to do something for me. Find my crew and tell them to 'stand down'. If you can't reach Cha…my first officer, then relay the message to Admiral Paris. I'm sure he knows how to reach his son and daughter-in-law. It's very important that they know I'm okay because if I know my crew at all, by the time you receive this they will already have come up with a plan of rescue on their own. I have to go. I love you Mom, Phoebe. I'll be home as soon as I can."

The recording ended and Admiral Paris retrieved the chip from the wall panel. Gretchen broke the silence. "With so many members of my family involved in Starfleet, we long ago established key words and phrases that we would use in the event one of us was in danger. Kathryn didn't use any of those words."

"And she could have very easily," Phoebe agreed. "She specifically did not use our family code. I think she's all right."

"I agree with them," Admiral Paris said taking a seat. "You notice she kept her hands in plain view. The way she kept them clasped conveyed the simple message that she was not under duress during the filming."

"So that's it?" Tom asked. "We just sit back and wait?"

"Yes," the Admiral said to his son and the room at large. "The Enterprise is on site and they have begun the negotiations. It will still be several weeks before they can 'rescue' her…"

"Why?" Chakotay interrupted. "Why several more weeks?"  
"The Perubians have their traditions, and we have ours. We will go through all of the standard diplomatic channels that would be used in this kind of situation, and in so doing we will show them how we operate," Admiral Paris explained. "At the end of the negotiations, the Enterprise will insert an away team and 'rescue' the Captain."

"Put us on the away team," Chakotay said. "Let us go in and complete the extraction."

"I'm sorry, but no. Negotiations have already begun with the Enterprise and personnel from that ship must be seen completing the rescue. I imagine that Commanders Riker and Worf will lead the extraction team." Paris raised his hand when Chakotay began to protest. "The Perubians are a powerful species despite their eccentricities. The Federation needs all the allies it can get after our war with the Dominion. This may be a tedious process, but we will follow it. If you, any of you, show up, it could seriously jeopardize all the efforts that have gone into making this alliance a possibility."

Gretchen put her hand on Chakotay's arm. "Please, Commander, I know you care about her, but I think this time we have to let this run its course."

"And besides, we all know this is the only way Kathryn will ever take a vacation," Phoebe quipped, earning a small laugh from everyone in the room.

Reluctantly, Chakotay nodded his agreement that he would not go after her.

* * *

Chakotay stood on his balcony and stared at the outline of the city. Dark had fallen, and the many lights of San Francisco were doing nothing to improve his mood. His apartment was almost empty for the first time since B'Elanna had broken the news to him. He knew that tonight many of them would sleep better than they had in weeks, but he wouldn't. He knew he wouldn't sleep comfortably until Kathryn was back on Earth and he had seen her with his own eyes.

Someone joined him on the balcony, and he knew before she spoke that it was Seven. He turned to find her looking uncharacteristically nervous.

"Seven, what is it?"

"I believe the others are correct," she said letting her hands drop to her sides. "You are still in love with Captain Janeway."

"Did someone say something to you?" Chakotay asked angrily.

"No, they did not. To be precise, the others have been nothing but kind in regards to our relationship, although I know they do not agree with it," she continued. "I have overheard conversations, and I have made my own observations. I did not quite understand what I was seeing until recently."

"Seven, what are you talking about?"

"Anytime the Captain is in danger you respond differently than you do for others. Your respiration rate increases, you become agitated more quickly, and you do not sleep. When Lieutenant Paris is in trouble, you remain calm and your reactions are based on logical decisions. I have never known you to lose sleep over Lieutenant Paris' whereabouts," she stated. "When it comes to the Captain, however, you are more likely to engage in behavior similar to Lieutenant Torres. Her responses are similarly affected when Lieutenant Paris is in danger. She does not react with the same aggression when Ensign Kim is in trouble as she does for her husband."

Chakotay swallowed, wanting to protest her explanation, but found he couldn't. Seven continued.

"I made these observations while we were still on Voyager, and I have seen them again in recent weeks. When I overheard conversation concerning your emotional state, it became clear to me what these associations meant." Seven paused. "We all care for the Captain, but not in the same way that you do. And you do not care for me the way you do for her."

"I'm sorry, Seven," he said quietly. "I never meant to hurt you."

"I am uninjured," she replied bluntly. "I too care for her, and I…I wish you both the best."

Chakotay watched as she turned on her heel and left him standing there. He leaned his head back, staring at the stars, and thought about Seven's words. The best? Isn't that exactly what Kathryn had told him concerning his relationship with Seven? Was Seven so like Kathryn that she had even picked up Kathryn's phrases? Is that why he had been attracted to Seven, because in some small way she had reminded him of Kathryn? If B'Elanna was to be believed - and he never had reason to doubt her - Kathryn's heart had been breaking when she wished him well with Seven. If that was true, did it mean there was still a chance for them to be together?

As soon as she returned home, Chakotay intended to find out.

* * *

Cont to Part 4


	4. Chapter 4

Please see disclaimer and author's notes on the first chapter.

* * *

Kathryn rolled over to her side and fluffed her pillow. She had been on the planet for almost seven weeks, and she had to admit this was the best kidnapping she'd ever experienced. Unfortunately, she had several experiences that she could examine in comparison. She had been completely spoiled during her time on Perub. She slept in a luxuriously huge bed with enough pillows to fill a tub, and her bathroom had a tub in it that made her think twice about getting rescued. The food here was simply scrumptious. She could swear she had gained ten kilos since she had arrived. She'd also slept more in the past seven weeks than she had since before she was a cadet. She surmised that the counselors at Starfleet medical were going to have a field day with her when she returned. Identifying with her captors, sleeping excessively to avoid the situation, and her favorite – not wanting to be rescued.

Kathryn stared at the ceiling. She really had come to like the planet and its people. She had attended the theater and toured many of their museums. Her tiring maid, Esselay, reminded Kathryn of her mother. Ambassador Lelac had become a personal friend, and she had dined at his home on several occasions. The only thing she didn't like about the planet was how short she felt. She constantly suffered neck strain from looking up at everyone she talked to.

They were a funny people, devoted to family and their warrior culture ideals. Esselay, or Essie as Kathryn had come to call her, told her all sorts of stories detailing the brave deeds of her people. Kathryn was sure some of them were fables, but as most fables do they also held an element of truth. She wasn't entirely sure about Essie's claims to have averted four different rescue attempts singlehandedly, but Essie had secured a promise from Kathryn that she would be phasered during Kathryn's escape. Kathryn thought she was crazy, but Essie assured her it was quite a badge of honor. She could only imagine how the story of her rescue would be recounted in later years.

Kathryn heard a noise outside her door and sat up. It was later than usual for anyone to be moving around in the hall. She could see shadows moving on the other side of the door, and she quietly slipped out of bed as the handle on the door was turned.

"Captain Janeway?" A male voice whispered into the room.

Kathryn peered through the darkness at the face. "Riker?"

He opened the door and came all the way inside the room. He grinned. "I'm here to rescue you."

"What's the plan?" She asked, pulling on her shoes. She was thankful she had begun wearing a light pants suit to sleep in the past several days; it would make escaping a much less embarrassing situation.

He scanned the room. "At the end of this hall, we've found a hole in their deflector grid that we can beam through."

Kathryn grinned. "Do you have an extra phaser for me?"

He unclipped one from his belt and handed it over. "Come on Captain, it's time to get you home."

"Wait, I have to wake my lady. She'll never forgive me if I don't stun her," Kathryn said moving towards the side door of the room.

Riker caught her by the arm. "We're trying to get out of here without starting a firefight."

"Oh, Will, we can't do that. These people have been looking forward to a fight with you for two months now. They'll be devastated if we just sneak away," Kathryn explained.

"Are you crazy?" He asked maneuvering her towards the door.

She pulled her arm free from his grasp. "No, I'm not crazy, but the Perubians are. A little anyway. It's the highlight of their negotiations to have a battle between the tribes. Besides, Commander, I outrank you."

Riker stepped close to her looking down into her face. "Captain, you know as well as I do that your rank doesn't count in a situation like this."

She smiled. "I know but I couldn't resist. Come on Will, when was the last time you were in a firefight that you knew you'd live through? Besides, it doesn't even hurt when their shots hit you."

"You've been shot?" He asked incredulously. "They assured us you were being treated well…._you_ assured us you were being treated well."

"They only shot me when I tried to escape." She saw by the look on his face he was truly concerned. She took on a more serious tone. "It's our duty as Starfleet officers to try and escape when captured. You know the rules of conduct as well as I do. I'm not crazy, Will. I just understand this culture better than anyone else right now."

"All right, but not until we get to the end of the hall. I want to be able to beam out of this place at a moment's notice." Riker made a chirping noise, and a Klingon wearing command red stuck his head in through the door. "Change of plans, Mr. Worf."

Twenty minutes later, the away team plus Captain Janeway were crouched in defensive positions at the end of the hall, firing in all directions. Janeway had awoken Essie, but refused to stun her unless she waited until they were at the end of the hall to sound the alarm. Riker contacted the Enterprise and told them to lock on to their signals, but to stand by and wait for his command to beam them out. At Kathryn's signal, Essie hollered at the top of her lungs, waking the entire building with news of the escape. Janeway had stunned her as promised.

"How long do we do this?" Riker bellowed over the noise.

"As soon as the ambassador shows up, we can shoot him and leave," Janeway yelled back, firing into a corner at two Perubians.

"Now you want to shoot the Ambassador?" Riker asked and fired two rapid stunning shots at a guard trying to duck behind a corner.

"Actually, it should be you that does it. You _are_ the rescuer." She yelled and then ducked behind what was left of a stone fountain. "There he is!"

Riker looked in the direction Kathryn pointed and saw an alien dressed in blue accented with gold. As he took aim, he sincerely hoped that Kathryn Janeway had not lost her senses. He fired and the alien slumped against the wall.

"Now get us out of here, Riker!" Janeway yelled firing another burst at some new guards joining the fray.

Riker called for a beam out, and noticed the Perubian he had shot was smiling and waving at him.

* * *

Kathryn slipped into the refresher of the Enterprise's sickbay to change into her freshly replicated uniform. The beam out had been successful, and Captain Picard had been waiting for them in the transporter room. She had almost burst out laughing when Riker tried to explain to Picard that he had phasered the ambassador.

She looked in the mirror to check her reflection. It felt good to have her uniform on again after two months without it, even if it did feel tighter across her abdomen. She had definitely put on a few pounds while on the planet, and she vowed to herself to start a more strenuous workout. She straightened her hair and then headed out to Dr. Crusher's office. Following standard procedure, Captain Picard had insisted that she report to sickbay for a full medical evaluation. Dr. Crusher had already run a complete series of scans on her and had told her she could change clothes while the data was compiled.

She sat down in the chair opposite the desk and regarded the renowned chief medical officer. Kathryn had grown used to the EMH's caustic manner and found herself ill equipped to deal with a CMO that actually appeared to care. "Well, Dr. Crusher what's the prognosis?"

"All of the basic tests show you to be in excellent health, Captain, but I would like to ask you a few questions about your experience," Beverly said, putting the PADD she had been reading down on the desk. "You reported that you suffered no ill treatment during the past two months. Is that correct?"

"Apart from the initial drugging when they kidnapped me, I was treated very graciously," Kathryn told her.

"How did you feel when you woke up from the drugging? Did you feel any discomfort?"

Kathryn thought back and remembered how her back had been stiff, but she knew what had caused that. She just shook her head in answer to the question. "I was groggy for a little while, but once that wore off I felt fine."

"Please bear with me Captain, but were you sexually active during your time on the planet? Or prior to your abduction?"

"Not while I was on the planet, no." Kathryn felt a chill creep down her spine. "What's this all about, Doctor?"

Dr. Crusher steeled herself. She was unsure how the captain in front of her was going to accept what she had to say. "Captain, you're two months pregnant."

* * *

Kathryn sat on the couch in the Enterprise's VIP quarters staring out at the stars. They were enroute to Deep Space 3 where she would be dropped off to rendezvous with Admiral Paris and her mother. She had already conversed briefly with both of them and Phoebe, and they were relieved she had been rescued. Her mother had insisted on coming out to meet her. God, what was she going to tell her mother? I had a one night stand with the guy who kidnapped me. She shook her head.

After Dr. Crusher had broken the news, Kathryn had gone into complete denial. She had immediately demanded to know how that was possible, and Beverly had given her a very skeptical look. Kathryn rephrased her question, and they began looking into her medical file. A month before Voyager returned to the Alpha Quadrant, Kathryn's bi-annual physical had been due. She missed the appointment and consequently missed updating her blockers.

It was only when Dr. Crusher mentioned that the mistreatment of her, by the Perubians or any agents working for them, would be grounds for denying entrance to the Federation that Kathryn told her exactly what happened. Reports of abuse would have to go into the official record, but her personal medical history would remain confidential. She assured Dr. Crusher the conception had been completely consensual and therefore of a personal nature. The doctor had looked at her skeptically when Kathryn asked her to run a species specific scan, but the results showed the baby was completely human.

The doctor wanted her to speak with Counselor Troi as a matter of protocol, but she had begged off. The last thing she needed right now was someone digging around in her head. She had enough going on in there without inviting someone else in.

So here she sat, staring out at the stars amazed at just how fast a life could be utterly screwed up. Yesterday, she had been thinking about being an admiral upon her return to Earth, and how she would feel about taking a desk job. Today, she wondered how she could possibly stay in Starfleet and raise a child on her own.

Alone.

She tried to laugh at the thought that for at least the next seven months she would never be alone, but the laughter turned to tears. The unflappable Captain Janeway, soon to be admiral, scourge of the Delta Quadrant, hero to many and friend to few, buried her face in the cushions of the couch and cried.

* * *

Cont to Part 5


	5. Chapter 5

Please see disclaimer and author's notes on the first chapter.

* * *

**6 ½ months later**

"Chakotay?" B'Elanna called uncertainly. He had commed her thirty minutes ago and asked her to come right over, but now she was standing at his door with no sign of him. She punched in the access code he had given her, but she was hesitant about waltzing into his quarters unannounced.

"I'm back here B'E," he called from somewhere inside.

She walked in, glancing around, and found him in his bedroom packing a bag. "Going somewhere?"

"I need you to take over a few of my classes," he explained as he walked past her into the bathroom.

"Where's the fire?" She asked, stepping further into the room.

"I found her," he said, carrying his toiletries out of the bathroom.

"Who, the Captain? Or Admiral….whatever." B'Elanna said stepping out of his way. "I didn't know she was lost."

Chakotay stopped and stared at her. "You know I've been looking for her ever since she didn't come back."

B'Elanna sighed. "There's a difference between being lost and not wanting to be found, old man. She's not lost. Phoebe and her mother both know where she is. I'm assuming Starfleet knows where she is too, since she took an official leave of absence."

"Well, now I know where she is and I'm going to go and talk to her." He flung a shirt into the bag. "I can't let her go. Not this time."

B'Elanna took the shirt out of the bag and began folding it. "I don't think she wants to see you. I don't think she wants to see anybody. I've talked to her several times and as soon as your name comes up she suddenly has to disconnect. If I mention coming out to see her, she changes the subject."

"It doesn't matter. She won't contact me and no one will tell me where she is, but now I found out on my own." He zipped the bag shut. "I'm going."

B'Elanna reached out and took his hand in hers. "Chakotay, she's happy. Wherever she is and whatever it is that she's been doing, she's happy there. Don't go there and mess it up for her."

"I love her B'E. I have ever since I first laid eyes on her. I have to go. We've spent too much time apart already."

"What if she tells you to go to hell?" She asked. "Will you be able to take that and leave? If she doesn't want you in her life, will you walk away?"

Chakotay didn't answer. B'Elanna sighed.

"Where is she?"

"Perub."

* * *

Chakotay couldn't exactly blend in on a planet full of purplish aliens that stood two feet taller than him, but he could still observe from a distance without being seen. It hadn't been hard to find Kathryn as there were not that many aliens of other species on the planet. He hadn't seen her yet, but he had been assured that she frequented a certain café often. He was now sitting across the street from the restaurant waiting for her to appear. He was staying out of sight because he didn't want to give her a chance to walk away before he even had a chance to say anything. He had been waiting for two hours when he finally caught a glimpse of her.

Her hair was what caught his attention. She was standing on the corner with her back to him, looking up while talking to three Perubians. Just watching her from the back, and seeing her hand gesture out to her side as she talked made him smile. Her hair was longer, just past her shoulders and she kept one hand on the small of her back. He had just stood to make his way over to her when she said goodbye to the Perubians and turned around. His throat closed up and he couldn't breathe.

Kathryn was pregnant.

No, Kathryn wasn't _just_ pregnant. Kathryn was _very_ pregnant.

Out of all the reasons that had occurred to him for her to stay here, this had not been one of them. He sat back down. He had considered the possibility that she had met someone, but when he discovered how few humanoids were actually on the planet of Perub he had dismissed that idea. Kathryn had never been one to venture past humanoid species, so the towering purplish aliens really weren't her type. She preferred to have relationships, so a one night stand with a passing alien seemed unlikely as well. That left him with only one conclusion.

When she went missing, he had been so worried that she might be mistreated, and now it seemed his worst fears had just been confirmed. She must have been raped during her captivity after all. This had to be why she hadn't come home. She wouldn't have wanted to terminate the pregnancy, but she wouldn't have wanted anyone to know either.

But then why had she returned to this planet? Surely, she wouldn't have come back here willingly if they had mistreated her. He began to see red. It had to have been the man that kidnapped her.

Chakotay had read the report that Kathryn had filed with Admiral Paris. She had described the guy that kidnapped her as being of human descent. She had explained in the report that he had been contracted by the Perubians to initiate the proceedings. Despite the cultural traditions of the planet, a person couldn't just kidnap a Federation officer and not expect consequences. A warrant had been put out for his arrest, but no one had seen him or even come close to finding him. Chakotay swore to himself as he thought about the report. It hadn't contained any mention of Kathryn being assaulted, but of course Kathryn wouldn't have wanted that to be public knowledge.

Chakotay tried to calm his breathing. He couldn't go over there mad. After all, it wasn't her fault. He watched her for a few minutes as she took a seat at one of the sidewalk tables. A drink arrived for her, and he watched as she cradled the mug and inhaled the steam wafting from the drink before taking a sip. He found he was able to smile watching her do something so familiar. She pulled a data pad of some sort out of the bag she was carrying and began making notations. He took a deep breath and steadied himself. This was it.

He angled his approach to her table so that he came up to the side from behind her. "Hello Kathryn."

Her head jerked up, and her mouth fell open at his greeting. He sat down in the chair opposite her and placed his hands on the small table. He smiled gently at her. "May I join you?"

"Chakotay," she managed to gasp out. "Where did…how did…"

He laughed lightly hoping to put her at ease. "For the first time in almost eight years I've finally rendered you speechless."

Her hand fluttered to rest on her swollen belly and she looked around the café to determine her best escape route. She took a breath, closing her eyes for a moment before finally looking directly at him. Chakotay watched dismayed as he saw the captain's mask slip into place.

She finally spoke to him, but her voice sounded strained. "Why are you here?"

"I've been looking for you," he replied. "Does that surprise you?"

"Well, frankly…yes," she said, frowning. "How did you find me?"

"Does it matter?" He leaned back in his chair.

"No, I suppose not," she said with resignation in her voice. "Well, I guess you noticed my big secret."

He nodded. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Mom and Phoebe know," she shrugged. "I had to let Admiral Paris know, but I really didn't feel it was anyone else's business."

"I'm so sorry, Kathryn."

"For what?"

"You shouldn't have had to go through this alone. I should've come after you. I knew something wasn't right when I watched your video, but the others convinced me you weren't in danger. Admiral Paris assured me you were fine, but I shouldn't have listened."

"I'm glad you did. Admiral Paris was right. I was fine," she said. "I _am_ fine."

"But you aren't fine, Kathryn. You're pregnant," he said, exasperated.

"Yes, I did notice," she replied, leaning back in her chair. "What exactly do you think happened to me?"

"You were raped," he said, leaning forward as if he was imparting a secret to her. When she continued to stare at him without replying he became unsure. "Weren't you?"

"No, I wasn't. But if I had been, thank you for breaking the news to me so delicately," she replied caustically.

Chakotay was at a loss for words. "But then…how did you get this way?"

"Chakotay, if I have to explain to you how I got this way, this conversation is going to be a lot longer than I expected."

"That's not what I meant."

"Then what exactly did you mean, Chakotay? And please, tread carefully because the ice is getting thin."

"Are you seeing someone?" He couldn't help himself.

"And if I am?" she asked, not giving an inch.

Chakotay back pedaled. He was beginning to feel extremely foolish. "You're right. This is none of my business. I'm sorry."

Kathryn heaved herself out of her chair. She was seething. "That's it? After all this time? You track me down, and you show up uninvited. Unannounced. And all you have to say is that you're sorry for something you had nothing to do with?"

A few Perubians were staring in their direction now. Chakotay stood up as well and spoke quietly, trying to keep the conversation private. "What do you want me to say, Kathryn?"

"If I have to tell you what to say, Chakotay, it isn't worth hearing."

She turned away from him and began walking down the sidewalk. He swore and caught up to her, grabbing her by the arm.

"Damn't Kathryn, not this time! I am not letting you just walk away from me. For once let's just say what we're thinking. No protocol. No rank. Just you and me."

She pulled her arm free of his grasp. "What do you want from me, Chakotay?"

"I want you to stop hiding and tell me the truth for once, Kathryn!"

"Fine! You want me to tell you the truth, fine." She stepped back from him. "What do you want to know?"

"Who's the father?"

"I don't know," she said, crossing her arms.

"Damn't Kathryn, don't lie. Not about this."

"I'm. Not. Lying." She dropped her arms and stepped towards him. "I don't know who the father is. I know what name I called him. I know a name someone else called him, but I have no idea who he really is. I met him in a bar. We had a drink and then he asked me up to his room. I said yes. We had sex. He's gone and I'm pregnant."

"A bar," Chakotay repeated. "So, what? Did you have too much to drink? Was that it?"

"No, Chakotay I didn't have too much to drink," she sneered. "I had just enough."

Chakotay flinched at her words. "Why, Kathryn?"

"Why? You want to know why? I'll tell you why. Because I hadn't gotten laid in seven years, Chakotay. That's why." She turned to walk away, but his next comment froze her to the spot.

"Whatever, Kathryn. You were hardly a nun out there."

She turned around slowly. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, come on. Have you forgotten about your holographic boy toy already?" He stepped towards her. Seven years of pent up emotions were boiling to the surface and the words were tumbling out of his mouth. "And what about Jaffen?"

"What _about_ Jaffen?"

"You moved in with him after only a few weeks, Kathryn. Don't tell me you weren't sleeping with him."

"He was Norvalen! Sex was physically impossible." Kathryn was livid. "But you wouldn't know anything about how it feels to go without would you? Tell me something, Chakotay, was Kes the only blonde woman half your age that you _didn't_ sleep with?"

"At least I wasn't lusting after cold blooded killers." He closed the distance between them. "When you were screwing Kashyk, did you enjoy it? Or was it just for the good of the ship?"

He never saw her hand move, but he felt the sting on his face when she slapped him. She was breathing so hard she was almost panting. They stared at each other in silence. His cheek hurt like hell, but he refused to acknowledge it.

Kathryn spoke first. "Is this why you came here, Chakotay? To hurt me?"

He blinked. That wasn't even close to the reason he had come here. What the hell was he doing? "No."

"Then what?" She asked. "Why are you here?"

"I came here to tell you that I love you."

Kathryn scoffed and stepped away from him. "You're too late."

"Kathryn," he started.

"No," she cut him off. "You do not get to stand here and say the things that you just said to me, and then tell me you love me. It doesn't work that way. _I_ don't work that way."

She turned and began walking away. Chakotay watched her retreating form not knowing how to repair the damage he had just caused. He dropped his chin to his chest. B'Elanna had been right. He shouldn't have come. He had only made things worse by coming. He looked up in the direction Kathryn had gone, and saw she had stopped. She was leaning against a bench as if for support, and she was staring at her feet.

"Kathryn?" he called and took a few steps towards her. She didn't move. He covered the remaining ground in a run. He reached her side. "Kathryn, what is it? What's wrong?"

She looked up. "I think my water just broke."

* * *

Cont to Part 6


	6. Chapter 6

Please see disclaimer and author's notes on the first chapter.

* * *

Chakotay looked up from the ground where they had both been staring at a wet spot around her feet. "Kathryn, what do they have for medical resources here?"  
She gestured in the direction she had been walking. "The hospital is just up the street."

"Can you make it that far?" He asked, looking around for some way to transport her. He caught her staring into his face and for a brief moment all the walls were down, and Chakotay could see the fear in her eyes. It took him a moment to realize that she had misunderstood his question. He wrapped his arm around her. "I'm not going to leave you, Kathryn. I just didn't know if you could walk all the way there."

She gave him a shaky laugh. "I can walk it. It's only a few blocks."

"Okay," he nodded, and they began moving again albeit slower. "Then what, Kathryn? Do any of these Perubians know how to deliver a human baby?"

"They don't have to," she told him and grinned a little. "The Doctor's here."

That surprised him. "Our Doctor? From Voyager?"

"The one and only."

He was impressed and relieved, "How did you manage that?"

"There are some advantages to being an admiral and an ambassador."

"I imagine being the Darling of the Delta Quadrant doesn't hurt either," he commented, holding the door open for her when they reached the building she indicated.

She made a noise of disgust. "That title makes it sound like I won a beauty pageant."

They entered a lift and she called for the desired floor.

Chakotay kept his hand on her back as the lift began to move upwards. "I think my favorite one was when that reporter called you "the bitch that defeated the Borg". You should've seen your face. I thought you were going to kill him."

"Well, my mother was standing right there." The lift deposited them on the designated floor. "Actually, I was trying not to laugh. It was only later that Mom told me she thought it was hysterical."

Chakotay just shook his head as they entered a rather large surgical bay. He immediately saw the doctor standing near a table studying something. The Doctor looked up at their entrance and smiled. He didn't look surprised to see them. "Admiral. Captain. Is it time?"

"I think my water broke."

"Well then, it certainly sounds like we're going to have an arrival today." He gestured to a screen. "Admiral, you'll find a gown behind there. Please change into it, and I'll evaluate how far along you are."

Chakotay watched Kathryn disappear behind the screen. He looked at the Doctor, "You don't seem surprised to see me here, Doc."

The Doctor sniffed and prepared a tray of instruments. "Should I be?"

"She was."

"Yes, well." The Doctor looked up from his tricorder. "You know she'll never _ask_ you to stay."

"Should I stay?"

The Doctor regarded him. "Isn't that why you're here?"

* * *

Kathryn stepped out from behind the screen, loosely tying a belt. She looked up to see an empty medical bay. Swallowing hard, she grimly acknowledged to herself that she had wanted him to leave. She moved towards the medical bed and almost jumped when she saw movement in the corner of the room.

Chakotay was in the corner changing into scrubs. Kathryn smiled with relief. Despite their problems, she should've known he wouldn't leave her. He turned around and caught her smiling at him. He grinned at her, "I thought I should change out of my traveling clothes."

"The booties look good on you," she said and he wiggled his toes in the slippers he had put on. A frown creased her forehead and she leaned against the bed. "Guess those back cramps I've been having today were trying to tell me something."

"Admiral, if you'll let Chakotay help you onto the bed we can get started," the Doctor announced, coming out of his office.

Five hours later, the Doctor was practicing his opera while Kathryn and Chakotay walked laps around the medical bay. Kathryn, being the woman that she was, couldn't just sit and do nothing waiting for her cervix to dilate, so she had opted to walk around. Their conversation had been minimal but calm, with both of them trying to forget the things they had said to each other on the street. She kept her hand clamped onto his forearm for support, and he was very aware of every contraction she had.

Her hand began to tighten around his arm again and he looked down at her. "Breathe through it, Kathryn."

"Mmmm-hmmm," she nodded, breathing deeply. After a minute, she exhaled and gave him another nod to indicate she could move again.

"You know there's something I've been wondering about," Chakotay said as they began to walk again. "Your mother and Phoebe seemed very sure after viewing your message that you really were okay. They said something about you giving them a signal."

Kathryn nodded. "I had hoped they remembered."

"So what was it?"

She gave him a small smile. "I can't just give away the family secrets, Chakotay. Besides, I might need to use them one day around you."

"Kathryn," he said, stunned. "It's not like I'd ever take you hostage."

She stopped and stared at him arching an eyebrow.

"It was just the one time, Kathryn," he tried to defend himself. "And I was under mind control."

"Twice actually," she corrected him. "Don't forget the time you burned out my deflector dish."

"I thought you didn't remember that."

"Temporal Prime Directive," she said and gestured with her hand to dismiss the subject. When he looked as though he were going to pursue it she cut him off by answering his first question. "In the message, I called Phoebe by name. If I hadn't used her name or if I had called my Mom something other than Mom, they would've known something wasn't right."

"Something other than Mom?" He asked, intrigued.

"Yes, for instance I could have said 'Sis, let Gretchen know I'm okay'," she told him and he nodded his understanding. She watched his profile. "Earlier, you said the video made you think I was in trouble. What did I do to make you think that?"

"You referred to me as your first officer and not by my name," he told her.

"Oh, that," she said. "Yes, well sorry about that."

Her voice tapered off, and she didn't seem to intend on completing the thought. Chakotay waited for a moment and then urged her on, "Kathryn? What was that about?"

"I, uh," she cleared her throat. "I was trying not to think about you. It just, it hurt too much."

She didn't say anything further as another contraction began. Chakotay rubbed her back as they waited for it to pass. She shook her head after a minute, breathing hard, and they continued their slow pace around the room. After a few minutes had gone by without either of them speaking she asked quietly, "What happened between you and Seven?"

"She…well she dumped me," he answered her. He had heard the sadness in her voice when she asked the question and knew she wasn't bringing it up to hurt him. "She observed that I was in love with you and that my feelings for her were not the same."

"How did she 'observe' your feelings?" Kathryn asked and tensed up feeling another contraction starting. She signaled for him to answer her question while she continued to concentrate on her breathing.

"She pointed out that I don't sleep when you're in danger. She said that I become more aggressive, and that I make illogical decisions when it comes to your well-being," he laughed lightly as he felt Kathryn loosen her grip again. "It was all very efficient, really."

"I'd expect nothing less from her," Kathryn said, wiping sweat from her forehead. "These things are definitely getting worse."

"Let's head back that direction," he suggested, turning them around. "The thing is, Seven was right. I'm just sorry it took her pointing it out for me to realize."

As they got closer to the diagnostic bed she gave him a small confession, "I never slept when you were off the ship."

He didn't find that too strange. "Kathryn, you hardly slept at all."

"True, but I could usually get at least two or three hours," she admitted. "But anytime you were on an away mission, I couldn't even close my eyes. It was all I could do to make myself leave the bridge."

"I never knew that."

"I know."

Chakotay didn't know how to respond to her admission. The Doctor inadvertently saved him by halting the conversation with his arrival. "How are we doing, Admiral?"

"Definitely getting worse," she said as Chakotay helped her onto the bed.

The Doctor began scanning her. "How far apart are they?"

Kathryn gave him a blank look. Chakotay spoke up, "They're about every four minutes and they're lasting about a minute each."

"Hmmm, very good." The Doctor nodded. "You're almost there, Admiral. You're at seven centimeters. Possibly another hour."

Kathryn's head dropped back on the pillow. "You've got to be kidding me."

"You better hope this child of yours isn't as stubborn as you or it may take even longer than that," the Doctor commented happily.

Kathryn leveled her best glare at him and growled, "Doctor."

"Yes, well." He cleared his throat and began retreating. "I'll be in my office if you need anything."

Chakotay swallowed his grin as he was now the lone target available for Kathryn. He looked down at her. "Would you like to walk some more?"

She surprised him when she just shook her head. She continued to just stare up at the ceiling. He glanced up to check if anything was there and didn't see anything. He looked back at her and saw she had her arm tented over her face.

"Kathryn, are you alright?"

She shook her head and mumbled something he couldn't quite make out. He took her hand and moved her arm away from her face. He wasn't completely surprised to see tears on her face. "Talk to me, Kathryn. Please."

She blinked a few times and wiped her eyes. "I don't know how to do this, Chakotay."

She covered her mouth with her hand as if she had made a guilty confession. He smiled and took her hand in his. "Nobody ever does. You'll figure it out."

Her hand squeezed his and she started to say something, but all she managed was a slight moan. Chakotay regretted letting her squeeze his hand instead of his arm like before, but he remained quiet until the contraction passed and she relaxed.

"It wasn't supposed to happen this way," she said quietly when she was able to speak again. "I never imagined I'd be having a baby on my own at this age. What do I know about raising a child?"

"You'll do fine. You were practically the mother of one hundred and fifty kids while we were on Voyager. You took care of them alright," he said, trying to encourage her.

"That's not even remotely the same thing. They could feed themselves and dress themselves. I could usually leave them alone and not worry about them killing themselves. But this baby is going to expect me to take care of its every need. I can't even remember to feed myself half the time much less worry that someone else is eating properly."

"Kathryn, taking care of yourself and taking care of someone else are very different things. You have always been better at taking care of others. You'll do fine," he argued. "I don't know how many times I saw you order someone off the bridge to get some rest knowing you had been there before they arrived and knowing that you'd probably still be there when they got back."

"Maybe," she said, not convinced.

"You'll do fine," he insisted. "Besides, taking care of _you_ is my job."

"But we aren't on Voyager anymore, Chakotay," she whispered as if to herself. Another contraction was starting, and he spoke softly encouraging her to breathe through it. She tightened her grasp on his hand and on the side of the bed, riding it out. After seconds that felt like hours, the pain began to ebb and she could breathe easily again as her body relaxed.

"You want to know the real reason I slept with that guy?" She asked, not meeting his eyes. "I was lonely. After seven years of dreaming and hoping, all I came home to was an empty house. I wanted to be happy for you and Seven, I really did. But that night…I saw the two of you on the dance floor, and it was like someone had ripped out my heart."

He held onto her hand stroking her palm with his thumb. "I'm sorry, Kathryn. I never meant to hurt you."

"It hurt. But I couldn't blame you. I wanted to." She gave him a small smile and shook her head. "I never let you in. Never gave you any indication. It wasn't right of me to think we'd be together when we got home, but I had my dreams, Chakotay."

She closed her eyes. "My God, Chakotay. How did we get like this?"

"It just seems to be the way we do things, Kathryn," he told her. "We take the long torturous road of our own making when all we should've done was read the signs and we could've found our way directly."

"We need to make some new traditions," she said then grimaced as another contraction started.

* * *

Twelve hours later, Kathryn struggled to get her eyes open. She was exhausted. In all the time in the Delta Quadrant, she could never remember feeling this bone tired. The Doctor's sarcastic comment from earlier had proven truer than any of them would've liked. It had taken another three hours before Kathryn's daughter graced the world with her presence. Kathryn had just woken up from a fatigue induced nap, and rolled her head to the side expecting to see her little girl in the medical bassinet near her bed. The bassinet was empty.

Kathryn was immediately alert and pushed herself up on her elbows. She grunted when her body reminded her just what it was she had been doing the past twenty-four hours.

"Take it easy, Kathryn," Chakotay scolded, from the foot of the bed. "Where were you trying to go in such a hurry?"

Kathryn sighed with relief. She could see Chakotay had the baby gently cradled in his arm. She let out a breath and slowly lowered herself back down on the bed.

"Did you see that?" Chakotay cooed to the baby, grinning at Kathryn. "Your Mama thought you'd run off. Isn't she silly?"

Kathryn scowled at him. "Not that silly."

He smiled at her. "And you thought you wouldn't be a good mother. I'd like to see someone try and come between you and your daughter."

Kathryn gave him a tired smile, and couldn't help but stare at the sight in front of her. Chakotay was holding a baby…_her_ baby. She felt a pang of disappointment that it wasn't _his_ baby. That realization didn't lessen her love for either of them. Kathryn blinked.

She still loved him. After all this time, after all these months of actively trying to repress her feelings, they had resurfaced as strong as ever in the blink of an eye. Stronger even.

"I think someone's hungry again," he said and raised the back of the bed before handing the baby to Kathryn. He pretended not to notice that her hands were shaking. He had never seen Kathryn look quite so uncomfortable. Her movements were unsure as she attempted to adjust herself and the baby into suitable positions. Seeing Kathryn Janeway hesitant and unsure was a sight he thought he'd never see.

"Kathryn, this little girl is made from you," he said, adding his hands to hers and guiding mother and child to comfortable positions. "She's not going to break from a little rough handling. Relax; she's made of sterner stuff."

Kathryn barely heard his words and didn't even notice his hands so near her breast. She was still enthralled at the idea that she was providing nourishment for this tiny little baby. It was an overwhelming feeling, and she felt tears rolling down her face.

"That's the most amazing thing I have ever seen," Chakotay said as he lightly brushed his fingertips over the baby's head.

"She's beautiful," Kathryn whispered, her voice filled with wonder. She tore her gaze away from the baby to look up at him. "How do you know so much about babies?"

"The way I lived growing up, I walked in on my mother, sisters, or cousins more times than I care to remember. I also did more than my fair share of babysitting." He explained, taking a seat on the chair next to the bed. "So, what's her name?"

"Kristin Nicole." She looked up to see his reaction.

"Sounds perfect."

Kathryn held his eye for a long moment. "Thank you, Chakotay. For…well, for everything."

"I never wanted you to be alone, Kathryn." He tugged on his ear self consciously. "I may have forgotten that for a short while, and I'm sorry. I'm glad I was here today. Thank you for letting me be here."

She rubbed the baby's back and let out a giggle when the baby burped. She immediately looked up to see if Chakotay had heard her. He laughed out loud. "Kathryn Janeway, did you just giggle?"

"No."

"Yes, you did. You giggled," Chakotay laughed. "No one will ever believe me."

"That's because you will never tell anyone," she said, trying to maintain a straight face.

Chakotay raised his hand in surrender. "What will you tell people about her?"

Kathryn raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm going to introduce people to my daughter. What more do I need to tell them?"

"People are going to ask who the father is, Kathryn."

"I know," she said, nodding. She shrugged. "Maybe I'll just tell them his name and leave it at that."

"What was his name?"

"You really want to know this?" She asked and received his nod. She took a steadying breath. "He told me his name was Charles Tate. Later, the ambassador referred to him as Logan. I doubt either was his true name."

"How do you feel about that?" He asked.

Kathryn shrugged. "How am I supposed to feel? I slept with a guy I hardly knew, and I got pregnant. And now, I have a beautiful baby girl."

She looked down at the baby in her arms. "I have a child, Chakotay. That's a dream I gave up on a long time ago, and now here I am. It's not exactly the way I ever imagined it happening, though."

"You seem very comfortable with this," he commented. "I admit I'm a little surprised."

"I wasn't at first," she admitted. "At first, I was extremely angry. Then I was ashamed."

"Is that why you didn't come back to Earth?" He asked.

"That was part of the reason."

"And the other part?"

She held his eye. "You."

He had been afraid of that. "And now?"

"Now? Mostly, I'm just scared now." She shook her head. "Who would've thought something this small could scare me? The 'bitch that defeated the Borg' is scared of a baby? Do you think they'd ever put that in the headlines?"

"Probably not, but that's not exactly what I meant," he told her.

"I know." She avoided his eye by fussing with the baby.

"Kathryn, I meant what I said. I love you. I came here to tell you that." He ventured on when she didn't speak. "I want you to come back to Earth with me."

She looked up. "Why?"

"Why? Because I want to be with you, Kathryn. I want us to be together. I've wanted it ever since I first met you," he said then added, "I'm sorry I lost sight of that recently."

"And what about her?" Kathryn looked down at the baby in her arms. "Twenty-four hours ago, you didn't know anything about her. You can't tell me that you're prepared for her to be part of your life, too."

"Kathryn, she's part of you." He stood up and gently placed his hand on the baby's chest. "How could I feel anything but love towards her?"

Kathryn watched as his hand moved up and down with the baby's breathing. The baby was moving up and down with every breath Kathryn took. For the first time in a long time she didn't feel alone.

* * *

Cont to Epilogue


	7. Chapter 7

Please see disclaimer and author's notes on the first chapter.

* * *

**5 years later**

"I'm going to kill your daughter!"

The four adults sitting at the table all turned their attention to the plaintive cry issuing from Miral Paris. It was the Sixth Annual Voyager Reunion. The tradition of having a reception ball had evolved over the years into a picnic that now took place over an entire weekend. Kathryn Janeway and Chakotay along with Tom and B'Elanna Paris had been enjoying the remains of their lunch when Miral strode up to the picnic table where they were sitting. She displayed a muddy hand print on her previously clean summer outfit.

"Look what Kris did!" She cried.

"It's not that bad," Tom said, laughing. "Besides, you never keep anything clean for more than five minutes anyway."

"That's different, Dad," Miral complained, plunking herself down at the table. "I'm not the one that jumped into the creek."

Kathryn suddenly lost her smile. "She jumped into the creek?"

Miral looked distinctively uncomfortable now, realizing she might have just gotten her friend into trouble. "Well, no. She kind of fell in."  
Chakotay was standing now. "She fell in?"  
"The first time it was an accident," Miral said, scraping mud off her pants leg with a fingernail.

"Where?" B'Elanna demanded of her daughter.

She pointed back towards the edge of the woods, and Chakotay and Kathryn took off running. Miral called after them, "It's okay, she's already climbed out."

Tom kneeled down in front of his daughter. "Is Kristin okay?"

"She's fine, Dad. I wouldn't have left her if she wasn't."

"And you had absolutely nothing to do with Kristin ending up in a creek?" B'Elanna asked. Miral tried shuffling off the bench without answering. B'Elanna caught her by the back of her shirt. "Miral? Did you have something to do with Kristin falling in the creek?"

Miral winced. She hated it when her mother took on that insistent tone. "Maybe a little."

* * *

Kathryn forced her way past a bush and skidded to a halt as she almost fell into the small creek. Chakotay thudded into her from behind and she had to step into the water to keep from falling over. She cursed as water filled her shoes.

They heard laughter as their daughter's voice called out to them. "You aren't supposed to say words like that, Mama."

Kathryn looked up to see her daughter sitting on a boulder. Kristin's red hair was dripping wet and her clothes were covered in mud. Her green eyes danced with mischief as she laughed at her mother's wet feet and her father's bemused expression.

"Kristin Nicole Janeway, you come down here this instant," Kathryn demanded as she stepped back onto the small shore and walked towards her daughter.

Kristin sighed in an exasperated manner that made Chakotay start to laugh. He swallowed it as Kathryn turned around to glare at him. They met their daughter at the foot of the boulder as she clambered down.

Kathryn knelt down to examine her daughter. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she answered, repeating an oft-used expression of her mother's.

Having found nothing more than a few scrapes, Kathryn relaxed. "You want to tell us how you managed to fall into the creek?"

Kristin's hands went to her hips. "Miral wasn't supposed to tattle."

"And you, young lady shouldn't be doing anything that should warrant telling," Chakotay said.

"I haven't done anything," Kristin complained.

"Kris, you've obviously been in the creek. Did you fall in or jump in?"

"Neither."

"Kristin, you know how your father and I feel about lying."

"I do know. That's why Miral flipped me."

Kathryn and Chakotay exchanged a bewildered look with each other, both clearly confused.

"Miral flipped you into the creek?" Kathryn asked.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I tried to tackle her."

"Why did you try to tackle her?"

"She lied."

Kathryn pinched the bridge of her nose. "Let's start over, and let's start at the beginning."

Kristin started to roll her eyes but stopped when she caught her mother's expression. "Miral said she wants five kids, but that she never wants to get married because boys are stupid."

Chakotay grinned and Kristin smiled back at him with her dimples showing proudly. "Not you though Daddy. And I'm sure she didn't mean Uncle Tom either. Or Uncle Harry. She might have meant Icheb though, 'cause Naomi did say he was kind of dumb sometimes."

"Kristin."

"Yes, Mama?"

"What happened after Miral said boys are stupid?"

"Oh. Well I told her she couldn't have kids without being married." Kathryn could easily see where this was headed. "And she said that you and Daddy weren't married when you had me. So, I tried to tackle her because she told a lie, and we aren't supposed to lie. But when I tried to tackle her, she flipped me, and that's how I ended up in the creek the first time."

"The first time?"

"Yep." Kristin nodded to confirm her story. "Mama, you and Daddy _were_ married when you had me weren't you?"

Kathryn shook her head. "No, we weren't married."

"Mama!" Kristin was shocked by the day's turn of events.

Chakotay was smiling like a fool but tried to help nonetheless. "Kristin, you don't _have_ to be married to have children. It's a biological thing."

"Oh." This almost seemed to pacify Kristin. "You mean like how you're my Daddy in all the ways that matter, including my dimples, but you aren't Mama's sperm donor."

"Kristin!" Kathryn said, appalled. Chakotay burst out laughing. "Where on Earth did you hear that?"

"Aunt Phoebe."

"Remind me to call Phoebe when we get home," Kathryn said, looking at Chakotay over Kristin's head. She turned her attention back to her daughter. "Did she say that to you?"

"No, she was talking to Grandma at the time. What's it mean anyway?"

"We'll talk about it later."

"Okay," Kristin shrugged. "So Mama, why weren't you married when you had me?"

"Well….that's complicated." Kathryn tried to evade her daughter's question.

"Is it because you were being stubborn?" Kristin earned another chuckle from her Daddy at this comment, and she beamed at him. "Daddy always says you're the most stubborn woman he ever met."

Kathryn cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow at Chakotay, who stopped laughing. "Really? Well, honey, one reason I wasn't married to your father when I had you is because he hadn't asked me, yet."

Kristin turned a voice of admonishment towards Chakotay. "Is that true, Daddy?"

Chakotay cleared his throat. "Well, yes. To an extent."

"But you always told me you loved Mama from the first time you saw her." Kristin said, and Kathryn's expression softened.

"I did," Chakotay confirmed, smiling over Kristin's head at Kathryn.

Kristin watched as her parents stared at each other over her head. She sighed; they were always doing that. "Miral was right. Boys are stupid."

Her comment broke the spell between Kathryn and Chakotay, who both started laughing. Kristin took the opportunity to head back towards the woods in the general direction of the campground. She wanted to find Miral and escape before her mother remembered…

"How exactly did you end up in the creek the second time?" Kathryn's voice stopped her. "And, what were you and Miral doing down here by yourselves anyway? You were supposed to be with the Wildman's."

Too late. "Well, you see…."

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Kathryn stood next to the hammock where Chakotay was stretched out in front of their cabin. His eyes were closed, but he had begun grinning as she got closer.

"You should really take those wet shoes off, Kathryn. I can hear them squishing a mile away." She slapped him on the stomach as she walked past, earning a grunt from him. Kathryn toed off her shoes and then joined him on the hammock. She rubbed her feet against his bare leg.

"Ugh, Kathryn! Your feet feel slimy." He moved his leg, trapping her feet underneath it. "What took you so long?"

"I made Kristin apologize to Samantha for running off. Samantha apologized to me for losing sight of her. I apologized to Samantha for Kristin being precocious." She settled down next to him, using his arm as her pillow. "Then I made Kristin apologize to Miral for tackling her. Miral apologized to Kristin for flipping her. B'Elanna apologized to me for teaching Miral that particular move, and I made B'Elanna promise to teach it to me."

Chakotay's mind whirled at the circular logic of all the apologies inspired by one little girl falling into a creek. "And they say boys are stupid."

"Boys _are_ stupid." Kathryn pinched his nipple.

He trapped her hand on his chest. "At least I'm smarter than 'the sperm donor'."

"I cannot believe Phoebe called him that," Kathryn said, turning her face towards him. She crinkled her eyes at him. "And how do you figure you're smarter than him?"

"That's easy," Chakotay said and kissed her forehead. "He let you get away."

Kathryn smiled and studied his lips while she traced small circles on his chest with her trapped hand. She was quickly becoming more aroused than she should be for lying on the hammock.

Chakotay cleared his throat. "And where exactly is the troublesome twosome now?"

"I have no idea."

Chakotay cocked his head in question.

"I left Kristin with Miral under Tom and Harry's watchful eye. It's been about five minutes, so I have no idea where they are by now, and probably neither do Tom and Harry," she clarified and kissed his chin. "I told B'Elanna, we'd meet them for dinner."

"Does that mean we have the cabin all to ourselves?"

She smiled wickedly. "For the moment."

Chakotay swung his feet off the edge of the hammock and stood up, almost spilling Kathryn on to the ground. He bent over and picked her up, eliciting a surprised cry from her. "A moment is all I need."

She laughed against his chest. "I think I might need a little bit longer than a moment."

He crossed the threshold of the cabin carrying her, and kicked the door shut behind him. "That's because you're stubborn."

"So, I've been told." She grunted as he dropped her on the bed.

Chakotay trapped her body under his, and began undoing the buttons on her shirt. "I'm going to kiss every stubborn inch of you."

She gasped as he punctuated his words with action. "I think we're going to be late for dinner."

"They're used to it."

**finis**

* * *

Author's note:

This was my SF request: I'd love a post endgame story where Kathryn gets pregnant by someone she doesn't know well. It can be assault, or a one nighter in her depression over losing Chakotay, or anything else the writer would like. The story doesn't have to dwell on the pregnancy much because I'd like it mostly to focus on her relationship with Chakotay, who she meets up with again a few days before the child is born and who helps her through the birth and the ensuing months as she learns to be mother, a role she isn't entirely comfortable with, deals with the conception, and lets him in. I'd like the story to end with J/C and baby happy, but in character. Angst is a plus and the rating depends on the writer's choices. I'll take G to NC-!7. Sorry, this might mean a long one. Thank you to the writer in advance.

Cori, my recipient, I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

And thanks to my baby-beta splv for answering questions on a subject I know nothing about.


End file.
